Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Taking the Seven Sips of the Hopocalypse


I miss my creative writing. In honour of the 9 Donkeys of the Hopocalypse, I present the taking of the seven sips. BTW I did not know the Book of Revelations off by heart.

Taste +5

The Flavius opened the first seal and heard with a voice of thunder, "Hops". I saw, and behold, a white head and it went out to conquer the aroma with pine, citrus and floral. When I took the second sip, up came another creature. It was not red but golden in colour. It was permitted to take the hops to the tongue and slay the palate. When opened to the third sip, and behold, a rider with a balance in hand. A voice in the mist said, "three quarts of bready and earthy barley is not enough to balance the hops." On the fourth sip, and behold, a pale beverage and its name was death by hops. It was followed by
a medium body, lower than expected astringency and creamy mouthfeel. They were given power over the palate with hop flavours of pine, citrus (grapefruit), floral and light cotton candy.

Aftertaste +2

On the fifth sip a lingering of sweet pine/citrus was told to rest a little longer.

Alcohol Content +1 9%

At the sixth sip there was a great earthquake. The alcohol warmed the throat and seated on the throne of the chest.

Value +1

After this I saw four empties standing at the four corners of the table. There was a loud voice saying, "Do not harm the other IPA's, for this is the best one yet."

Ingame Enhancement +1

Then one of the Pliny the Elders addressed me, saying, "These are they that came out of the great fermentation tank."

Overall 10/10

..and serve him day and night within his pint glass. They shall thirst no more but I shall wipe away the tears when all bottles have been sold out.

Pliny the Elder and adrenaline shots

Racer 5 IPA and the Bailout
Hop Stoopid Ale

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