Flavius: OK Meter, we are running behind on our beer reviews.
Meterman: I say again, I do not want to be associated with this dog and pony show.
F: But this is the perfect post Threesomes and beer.
M: As long as you are not involved, I'm listening.
F: It's a commentary piece. Why to large international breweries heavily export bland, tasteless pale beers?
M: Because they travel well. If you have no flavour, you can't lose it during transport. Also televised sports addicted men drink this shit up by the gallon!
F: You could do a blind taste test with Budweiser, Labatt Blue, Heineken and Pilsner Urguell and I bet no one could tell them apart.
M: I'm sure some people could tell the difference.
F: What if you make eating potato chips and yelling at the TV part of the taste test?
M: I think you may be on to something.

Estrella (Spain), Ozujsko (Croatia) and DAB Dortmunder (Germany)

These beers all came in the same 500ml tall can format.

Taste +2 all

Standard pale lager flavour; mild flavours of corn, honey and malt sweetness. The colour of these beers would be the same coming in as the are going out. Lots of carbonation that left a finger wide head. DAB had the slightest hint of bitterness.

Aftertaste 0

Almost tasteless. The Ozujsko had a crisp cider-like finish. Now that you mention, it they all did.

Alcohol Content 0 4.93% (average)

Estrella 4.6%, DAB 5%, Ozujsko 5.2%

Value +1

This is where all these beers excel; lots of volume for pocket change. You get 500ml for $2.10 for the German and the Spaniard, for the extra value of $2.45 you too can enjoy Croatia's favourite beer.

Ingame enhancement +1

All three of these beers were drank during a monster Left 4 Dead zombie killing spree. Over 400 zombies were hurt during the making of this article.

Overall 4/10

These beers are all uncomplicated and easy drinking. If I had to pick a winner it would probably be the Ozujsko. Oddly enough they are all marketed the same way and to the same people: just old enough to drink, attend large scale sporting events or parties and don't have a lot of money. The cans are all similar, flashy and bold; Estrella is bright red, DAB has huge letters and is shiny, Ozujsko also huge, slanted, shiny letters.

Despite all the negatively involved in this article, they are all nice beers for the price. I would buy any of them again, especially the Ozujsko. They would be perfect for a hot day or watching televised sports.