Every once and a while you get a beer and it is not as expected. A classic German hefeweizen is a glorious beverage. Each sip is an adventure in spicy yeasts with dominating phenols of cloves and esters of banana and bubblegum. If lucky, one gets a tart dose of lemon and yeast. The Summer Haze is not a hefeweizen, none of these flavours are there. This is OK, we can move on.

Hoyne Summer Haze Honey Hefe = 2/10

The nose is faint on this brew, let's call it an American wheat ale for now. There is a slight aroma of juicy wheat and asparagus, not too much. Each sip is smooth, cooling, light to medium and slightly sweet. This is where things go funny. When you look at this beer, you notice an absence of cloudiness. True, this beverage is a bit nebulous, but a true hefe looks like a golden snow storm. Nothing really dominates flavourwise. Yes, there is a pleasant honey taste, blended with wheaty bread and a slight bubblegum linger. Don't get me wrong, people will enjoy this beer. This is a very drinkable beer, but beer geeks will stomp all over this brew. Take it for what it is: a light summer wheat ale with added honey. Did I mention that the honey came from beehives at the Fairmont Empress?

Taste +2
Aftertaste 0 it ends clean
Alcohol Content 0 5.1%
Value 0 I was really looking forward to a hefe
Appearance 0 nice label art. But when you say hefe, please put a hefe inside.

Other hefty reviews
EdelWeiss Snow Fresh
Franziskaner Hefe-weissbier
GIB Hefeweizen

This rating is chalked up to poor keg stewardship. I was on vacation in Las Vegas and happened upon Yardhouse. Perhaps it was the glowing neon signs that drew me in. The Yardhouse's claim to fame is the many, many draft beer options, there were almost 100 to choose from. Before you get excited, it does not sound as good as you might think. Once you deduct the macros, imports, promiscuous crafts the selection thins out. It is a beer tickers dream, but a geek's nightmare. I chose the only seasonal: Goose Islands Matilda.

Matilda (Goose Island) =2/10
Ratebeer 3.62 96th percentile
Beer Advocate 89%

Despite the RB and BA love, I could not see the glory. The nose was light with sweet apricots, peaches and moonshine. The other needed bits were there: silky mouthfeel, warming but it was all a tad boring. The taste was a little flat of baby food apricots, honey and vaguely spicy hops/yeast. It all ended with a slick, slippery slide of apricots, peaches and re-swallowed vomit. Perhaps this keg had been sitting around for a while. Or maybe I should not benchmark it to Delirium.


Taste +2
Aftertaste 0
Alcohol Content +1 7%
Value 0
Appearance 0

Other Belgian Strong Ale
Delirium Tremens
Piraat
Augistijn

Crap! I have to make an effort to say something witty and smrt sounding because people are reading. So this one of the most well known brands of beer in the US. It's not on par with BUD, but more the Pabst level. It is also a poser beer. It's not a bock for a few reasons. The first is that it is weak. The second is that it is weak. The third is that is doesn't come from un-spellable town in Belgium. The fourth is that you can see through it. Forget the fifth, tick tick tick. I bought this beer based on name alone.


Shiner Bock = 2/10
Ratebeer 2.58 19th  percentile
Beer Advocate 71%

This reminds me of another beer that calls itself a bock, but doesn't taste like one. FYI the local on tastes really good. Even BJCP calls it an American Dark Lager. I call it weak smelling of light lager and grass. YES, lager is a smell, check the dictionary. While you are busy with that: the taste is boring toffee, egg whites and buttery. This brew would taste great over popcorn. Thankfully the ending was quick; just like a last drop. Overall it sux. That is a bit harsh. Call it a gateway beer, until you drink some real craft beer. Grab a New Belgium Ranger and mess yourself up.

Taste +2
Aftertaste 0
Alcohol Content -1 4.4%
Value 0
Appearance +1 (legendary name alone wins)

I approach this beer with a little trepidation. The point of the hesitation is the label; it says "Strong Ale". Generally Baltic porters use lager yeasts. However ale yeasts can be used if cold fermented. The side description mentions a long journey across the North Sea with a higher alcohol content. Baltic porters did not travel across the sea. It was actually Russian imperial stouts and English robust porters that made the journey across the North and subsequent Baltic sea to reach the Baltic states (particularly Estonia and Latvia). These ale were destined for the powerful Russian Empire. It was these transient brews that influenced the local brewers to create the aforementioned strong, darker lagers. The excitement came from my tasting of Garrisons Baltic Porter, it was very true to the style.


Baltic Porter (Phillips/Garrison) = 2/10

Ratebeer 3.2/5 (2 ratings)
Beer Advocate nope

Not getting any sweetness in the nose, lots of roast though and perhaps a little ash. The roasted, astringent harshness at the start remined me of burnt sourdough toast. I kept waiting for the thick sweetness - traditionally found in Baltic porters - to arrive. It never did. There was enough roasted, licorice and faint berry flavours to keep things interesting. Hey berry flavours..don't they come from ale yeasts? There could also be a hint of coffee if you stretched it. The aftertaste is a little pasty, burnt with a noticeable alcohol warmth. If you renamed this a robust porter, cut back the thin alcohol bit, it would be a winner.


Taste +2
Aftertaste 0
Alcohol Content +1 8%
Value 0
Appearance -1 (several misleading descriptions of label)

Baltic Porter Reviews
Black Boss Porter
Baltika Porter
Gonzo Imperial Porter

I have lost in my way as a beer blogger. Everyone has a 'thing'. Dan has a great thing going stirring up trouble with CAMRA UK. Even John is getting into the biz with reviews of great beers from far off places. Dave has neglected his old blog but is working hard on Beer on the Rock.


Perhaps I should just stick with being a beer prick! I'm good at it. The best part about being an opinionated prick (at anything) is that you do not always have to be factually correct. You just need the skill to yell louder than everyone else and sound like you know what you are talking about. Which leads me to the newest release by Driftwood: The Twenty Pounder Double IPA. Yes, I know it is the wrong glass to use for an IPA, but it is new and wanted to show it off.

This one is most likely a BCJP 14C: Imperial IPA. The stronger IPAs are an easy target to brew; hop the snot out of anything and people will think it is good. Sadly this misses the mark. The nose on this thing speaks of PNW Cascadian hop joy. Miss Clavel turned on her light and said something is not right. It is all there: grapefruit citrus, spruce but it seems unbalanced. A sip reveals all. Holy unbalanced hops Batman! It is almost painful. It burns of nail polish, pine sol and grapefruit seed extract. With hops this harsh you need something to balance things out, with more malts or other hop varieties. Two good examples of Imperial IPAs are Pliny the Elder and Hop Donkey. I had a Pliny recently and remembered why this is one of the greatest beers in the world. The Half Pints Humulus Ludicrous was also a great soup soup beer.

Back to the beer, the ending burns everything and could flare up your GERD. The aftertaste is sticky with pine pitch, grapefruit rind and burns the nose. Sadly I didn't like it. This is so odd for Driftwood, usually their beers are awesome. Oh well at least we can look forward to the Satori.

Taste +1
Aftertaste -1
Alcohol Content +1 9%
Value 0
Appearance +1 (always great art!)

My Father's brought this beer back from his trip to Estonia. You can tell from the can that this is a mass produced light lager. The taste will probable be predictable.

Hebckoe 2/10

Ratebeer (not rated)
Beer Advocate C (1 review)

Yup just as I expected: the nose is faint with honey, straw, lettuce and a vague iciness. With loads of carbonation, Hebckoe delivers its standard load of light grasses and off-sweet honey. Luckily there was little vegetal but sadly no hop snap. There was no linger. It was a plain, easy drinking and unmemorable foreign pale lager.

Taste +2
Aftertaste 0
Alcohol Content 0 5%
Value 0
Appearance 0 (plain, unremarkable 500ml can)

Ratebeer 2.55/5 21st percentile
Beer Advocate B-

Taste +2

Yup this was a lager; the nose was clean with faint grass and that standard lager smell. Luckily there was a faint floral hop accent at the start that was mixed in with the fizz. There were very faint grassy malts and slightly fruity - luckily to corn.

Aftertaste 0

The ending was clean, crisp with only the barest of grass

Alcohol Content 0 5%

Value 0

It was slightly above average lager.

Ingame Enhancement 0

Meh

Overall 2/10

Don't get me wrong, this was a good lager. Lagers never score well with my rating scheme. It is flawed and I'm OK with that.

Granville Island Lager
Session Premium Lager
Paddock Wood Black Cat

Golden Ale Salt Spring Island
American Blonde Ale

Ratebeer 2.85 29th percentile
Beer Advocate A-

Taste +2

The nose is nutty with hints of digested fruits. Average taste of tart honey with a bitter snap at the end.

Aftertaste 0

It was clean and dry with a wisp of honey.

Alcohol Content 0 5%

Value 0

If you like blonde/pale ales, this will be sure to please. I am just not a fan of this style

Ingame Enhancement 0

This was one of the brews at the Epic Tactical Nuclear Penguin tasting party.

Overall 2/10

It was pleasant drinking beer. The was just no excitement, but this is just the way it is with a blonde ale. Certainly a big step above the macro swill blonde ales.

Trappist Achel Blonde
Saint-Martin Blond

Red Racer White Ale
Wheat/Witbier Ale

Ratebeer 2.97 37th percentile
Beer Advocate B+

Taste +2

Nothing really shocking in the nose: wheat, grass, lemon and orange spice. The taste is right with a slight lemon/orange citrus hints. There is also the tang of yeast/wheat but it just seems so uninspired.

Aftertaste 0

It was dry and clean with the simplest of yeast and citrus tang.

Alcohol Content 0 5%

Value 0

The wife liked it.

Ingame Enhancement 0

Nope.

Overall 2/10

It was a mass appeal Belgian wit beer. All the standard flavours were there: wheat, orange, lemon and yeast. It was just a little lack-luster for a beer snob like me.

Red Racer Classic Pale Ale
Estrella Damm Inedit
Allagash White

Howe Sound Hangdog Hefeweizen

This brewery is located about an hour south of Whistler BC. They are perhaps the most recognizable brand because they use one litre re-closable pot-stoppers. This makes the bottles sought after by homebrewers like me. It is nice that the beer inside is usually good. Their nut brown ale won a silver medal at the Canadian Brewing awards in 2009.

Ratebeer 2.98/5 40th percentile
Beer Advocate A-

Taste +2

The nose has the standard lemon zest and yeast. Sadly the taste is a little weak and watery. On the plus side, the light lemon sweetness is not tart at all.

Aftertaste 0

It was average, dry and clean.

Alcohol Content 0 5%

Value 0

It was nice and drinkable but not spectacular.

Ingame Enhancement 0

What is lacks in quality it makes up in quantity. Any litre of beer easily calms the ingame twitching.

Overall 2/10

It was a little weak for a hefe, but that could be good for some people. At least it comes with a cool bottle.

Howe Sound Baldwin and Cooper Best Bitter
Granville Island Hefeweizen
Tree Hefeweizen and I get by...

Marin HefeWeiss

Ratebeer 2.83 29th percentile
Beer Advocate C+

Taste +2

Nose is slightly lemon/limey with yeast. It was not very effervescent with slight flavour of tart lemon and yeast.

Aftertaste 0

After the tart lemon snap on the tongue, it was gone. Just gone.

Alcohol Content 0 5.2%

Value 0

If was a Hefe, not a good hefe.

Ingame Enhancement 0

Time to cut my losses with this beer.

Overall 2/10

It was an average hefe. No make that a below average hefe.

Pyramid Imperial Hefe
Tree Brewing Hefe

Dark Star Oatmeal Stout

Ratebeer 3.27 63rd percentile
Beer Advocate B+

For those who might be noticing, I know the chalice is not the correct glass for a stout. It is just a cool glass I found at a thrift store. My new hobby will be to search thrift store for cool beer glasses.

Taste +2

The nose is as you would desire from an oatmeal stout; roasted grains, burnt toast, cereal and coffee. Oddly you can smell the alcohol; it was slightly bourbon-like. The taste was a little light, with a below average mouthfeel for an oatmeal stout. Everything about this stout was below average. The slight roasted cereal mixed with weak coffee, cocoa and vanilla. It was very smooth drinking, but for a below expected oatmeal stout this was not surprising.

Aftertaste +1

There was a brief coating of burnt toast and oatmeal, but then it was gone leaving a feeling of slightly watered down coffee.

Alcohol Content -1 4.6%

Value 0

This was nice, but I would not get it again. It just seemed below average.

Ingame Enhancement 0

Played a little L4D tonight. It too felt average; some people just do not understand the concept of Co-op gaming. Co-op means sticking together, not running around by yourself

Overall 2/10 meh

This is a good choice for someone who does not desire a strong, knock-down, roasted mouthfeel stout. To be fair, I expect a lot from a stout and this did not deliver.

Hop Goblin IPA
Stone Bitter Oatmeal Stout
Swan's Oatmeal Stout
Drake Imperial Stout and Executive class guilt

Spyhopper Honey Brown Ale (Vancouver Island)

Ratebeer 1 rating (not good)
Beer Advocate unrated

Taste +1

This was an extremely uneventful honey brown swill. If I had to mark down a nose it would be honey and caramel. At least it was not too watery, tasteless is different from watery. Vague murmurs of caramel malt with honey and nuts, followed quickly thereafter by a nice, nonaromatic hoppy bite.
Aftertaste +1

A little bitterness mixed in with the honey sweet. Thankfully it was clean and short.

Alcohol Content 0 5%

Value 0

Maybe if I was on a deserted island...

Ingame Enhancement 0
Overall 2/10

If there is nothing else to drink or you want to buy a beer for someone you do not want to offend. It won't impress them either.

Tennent's Lager

Ratebeer 2.31 11th percentile
Beer Advocate C+

Taste +2

Very soft malts grace the tongue, but it is still lager like. You know the drill: grass, apricots and faint aromatic hops. It kinda reminders me of a premium Lucky Lager, only not as sweet.

Aftertaste +1

There was a dry, mild apricot aftertaste but it faded pretty quick.
Alcohol Content -1 4.4%

Value 0

It was very drinkable, but not exceptional.

Ingame Enhancement 0

This was enjoyed in the Penny Farthing Pub, with my buddy Donovan. I think he even bought. WOOT.

Overall 2/10

A nice drinkable, mass produced lager. The flavour was above average, but this does not entail an endorsement.

Kronenbourg
**insert generic pale beer picture here**

Ratebeer 2.23 9th percentile
Beer Advocate D+

Had this one on tap at the Penny Farthing Pub. Not sure is it was the 1664 or the plain.

Taste +1

Taste was average; barely flowery hops with whiffs of grass and honey. It was very light and drinkable, a little watery though. The nose did have a slight plum and spice sensation, but it was a stretch. It tasted a lot like apple cider.

Aftertaste +1

Very clean finish and not too mouth puckering.

Alcohol Content -1 4.7%

Value 0

It was alright.

Ingame Enhancement +1

Just sat in the pub and talked with my friend Donovan (aka. Pretty Blue Eyes), so it was a good night.

Overall 2/10

Bleck, boring beer. Only slightly above average.

Flavius: I have scientific proof that drinking beer is good for you!
Meterman: All one has to do is look at us. Umm. Perhaps just me.
F:I have proof; in the December 2008 issue of The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition consumption of beer (<2 per day) was associated with a lower progression of coronary calcium (CAC) when compared to non-drinkers. However, more than 2 beers per day was associated with a greater CAC. CAC is a known risk factor for coronary artery disease.
M: Wow, I am impressed with you Flavius.
F: Why? You didn't think I could read?
M: Some of those words had 3 syllables. I found a few flaws in the study.
F:How so?
M: None of the recruitment populations were from the Pacific Northwest, so they must have been drinking crap beer.
F: Right, none of that stuff is good for you!

Samuel Adams Boston Lager

Ratebeer 3.2 63 percentile
Beer Advocate B+

Taste +2

This is surprising; a nose of light hops, coffee and roasted malt. The taste is very plain for a lager with above average carbonation. The Sam Adams selection was nicely flavoured with roasted caramel malts whose sweetness was nice kept in check with a floral hoppy bitterness.

Aftertaste +1

All the flavours fade fast. Only the carbonation tinkle, slight roasted caramel and bitterness resides.

Alcohol Content -1 4.9%

Value 0

It was alright, but I have had better lagers.

Ingame Enhancement 0

This was another of the Palm Springs beers. If someone asked me to bring them a beer, I gave them one of these. They rarely asked me to bring them anymore beer.

Overall 2/10

Meh, in all boxed beers there must be balance.

I have had several pints from Tree brewing before. This smaller brewery based in Kelowna, BC, usually produces good beers.

Raspberry Porter (Tree Brewing)

Rate beer -not listed-
Beer Advocate B+

Taste +2

This is a porter all right, it pours as dark as my parole officers heart. The nose is all raspberry jam. At first tasting shows a raspberry sweetness, more like an alcoholic extract than fresh juice. There is a good full mouth flavour on a backbone of very uneventful porter. Thankfully the raspberry is not too sweet.

Aftertaste 0

The raspberry and malt sweetness cleanly fade away; pretty quick too.

Alcohol Content 0 5%

Value 0

Standard BC craft beer price $5 for 650ml.

Ingame Enhancement 0

New years spend packing to go into Vancouver. I did listen to Elbow though; great band. If it sounds familiar it was in the L4D TV spot.

Overall 2/10

This beer might be fun to serve with a dark berry or chocolate desert. Other than that I can't really see a reason to drink it. If you really liked raspberries, this beer is for you.

Yankee Jim Ice Bock

Beer Advocate C-
Rate Beer 1.58 2nd percentile

I have reservations about buying beers in 500ml cans. They are used to efficiently export mass amounts of beer a great distance. This may be good if they are extremely popular and people all over the world love drinking lots of this beer. Conversely, the beer was overwhelmingly rejected in its home nation and needed to be sent far away. The later is the case with Jim's Ice Botch.

Taste +1

Technically it is beer, though not really an ice bock. Ice bocks have bold luscious flavours, this beer does not. It poured dark amber with almost no carbonation. The smell was icy malt sweetness, much lighter than a Hermannator. The taste was a nice malt sweetness with little bitterness. It did have this odd mineral taste; perhaps because the solvent notes had started to dissolve the can. This brew was very light for a ice bock; maybe if they added less water it might have tasted pretty good.

Aftertaste 0

The slightest solvent bite faded to leave a light sweetness. This was a very easy drinking beer. Water is also very easy drinking.

Alcohol Content +1 6.5%

You could get a little alcohol bite on the tongue and throat; perhaps due to lack of masking flavours.

Value -1

I think I paid $3 for this 500ml can at a cold beer and wine. I should have bought a Holsten instead.

Ingame Enhancement +1

At least the virtual company was good. Nightware, Meterman and I left a long trail of zombie parts after almost an hour of gameplay.

Overall 2/10

I don't think this beer gets a lot of repeat customers. If you took away the Zombie and alcohol scores you get a 0.

Flavius: www.louboutinofficial.com is now up and running.
Meterman: Spending $10 for a domain to spruce up your crappy google blog doesn't make these rantings any more enjoyable.
F: This new year will be better. We now have a great banner from T3-Neon.
M: Graffiti in a bathroom doesn't improve the stink. BTW, Neon your banner is very nice. I only visit this blog to look at your artwork.
F: This year we will get more subscribers..
M: Hah, maybe your readership will double; then you will have two readers. Three if you count your Mom.

Instigator Dopplebock (Phillips Brewery)
Ratebeer 2.97 41st percentile
Beer Advocate B


Phillips is a local brewery favourite. Their lineup is a good mix of standards and bolder brewing attempts. The nice part is that they often will release limited brewing runs through the year.

Taste +1

The nose has a little whiff of wet laundry. I had to taste it twice to make sure I wasn't drinking water. There is only the slightest bite of sweet licorice, malt and chocolate. The more you drank the more you could pick these tastes out. Imagine if you took a Hermannator and added water, that is what this beer tastes like. I had a slight cold so I had my wife confirm my tastings; she concured.

Aftertaste 0

It fades very quickly to leave a slight raisin and malt sweetness.

Alcohol +1 8.5%

You can't taste the alcohol at all on this beer.

Value 0

You can pick this one up almost everywhere in Victoria for about $4.50 for 650ml.

Ingame Enhancement 0

Spend the night in real life. I watched Terry Jenkins beat the Canadian John Part in the World Match Play Dart Championship.

Overall 2/10 Meh

It was a very easy drinking beer; kinda like a cup of cold tea. Say you money and buy a six pack of Hermannator instead. It does have a cool trailer though. I have a vague memory that last years batch tasted better.